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Why the United States rules (idea)
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(
idea
)
by
qousqous
Fri Dec 01 2000 at 22:32:32
Why does
America
rule?
Because we
spend
50% of our
federal budget
on the
military
, so if anyone that
disagrees
with us, we can simply
blow
their head off.
Because our treasured
free speech
rights are consistently
trample
d on by the
DMCA
and the
MPAA
and
obscenity
laws
Because our treasured
right
to
peaceably assemble
is consistently
trampled
on by
police who surround protesters and then order them to disperse
Because our
treasured
right to
presumption of innocence
and
due process of law
is constently
trampled on
by
drug forfeiture
laws
Because our treasured
right to run our own lives
is consistently
trampled on
by
drug laws
,
sex laws
, and other means of
protecting citizens from themselves
Because our treasured
right to bear arms
has been
loosely
interpreted into the
right to blow anyone's head off at whim
Because our
treasured
democracy
is so strongly
supported financially
(
yeah, that's it, sure...
) by the large
companies
of our country
Because our
treasured
,
hard-won
40 hour work week
has been completely
abandoned
Because
over 2 million Americans are in prison
, a higher
rate
than
any
other country in the
world
Because if
crime
,
bad schools
,
drugs
, and
apathy
don't manage to catch all of them, a scant
few
of
the 20% of the children who are poor in this country
will be able to become
millionaire
s
But before I get too
cynical
, though, I must also
remember
that the
United States
is also the home of:
Apple Computer
Perhaps one of the
best postal systems in the world
(Fast, cheap, and
underrated
)
The
Columbia Gorge
Thanksgiving
Gary Larson
San Francisco
,
New York
,
Chicago
,
Seattle
,
Silicon Valley
,
Portland, OR
, and
Omaha
LSD
(popularization thereof)
They Might be Giants
I live in one
crazy
,
fucked up
,
beautiful
,
awesome
,
fun
,
horrible
,
wonderful
, and above all
amazing
country.
You say "the internet" but you mean "the world wide web"
San Dimas High School Football Rules
America is not a country
"Hey wouldn't it be cool if we could do this" rule
The USA is not a democracy
Christ is the Answer
USPS
jingoism
Apple Computer
Lifecycle of a Cherry Pop-Tart
They Might Be Giants
Blame Canada
Panic of 1837
Corporate ID Cards
I am so an American
The X-files: Fight the Future
The Hunt for Red October
Portland, Oregon
Idiot police who blame the protesters
Rodger Young
Blue Highways
School of the Americas
Wernher von Braun