Eric looked like Jimmy Page right after he'd joined the Yardbirds. He was hot like fire, and I wanted him sorely. Everyone at the restaurant knew it, but his friend Travis wanted me. Eric told me later that Travis had asked him to give me his phone number in a note. Eric threw Travis' note away and we started dating, or seeing each other, or whatever you would call it when you never really define it, but you like each other enough to screw and spend all your free time with one another. Eric and I used to walk the Rouge River and sit around listening to old records, drinking Labatt's or cheap red wine that we'd stolen from the grocery store. Because females have that festering need to ask questions they don't want to know the answers to, I asked Eric if he thought Lee was better looking than I was. The answer wasn't exactly no. He told me that I was beautiful, and that Lee was pretty in a Sports Illustrated kind of way. Eric was Mr. Indie Rock, so I took this as a major compliment.

In the mean time, I was boasting to Lee about how wonderful Eric was in bed. Phenomenal, I gushed. The best ever. Really. Oh, tons of orgasms. Absolutely. I fed her all of this because I was sick of hearing her tales of massive manhood and perfect tongues. Sex was not good for me, because I was not good for me. I lied and bragged about my partner's sexual prowess because I was jealous of her apparent joy of sex.

One night, Eric, Lee, and I got completely trashed on a couple of bottles of red wine. One of them was a bottle of some sort of Hungarian red wine that I have never seen since. I vomited and went for a walk, then came back into our apartment and laid down on the couch to wait for Lee and Eric to come back inside. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up at about 5:30 in the morning. All I wanted was to crawl into the queen sized bed next to Lee and fall asleep until my headache went away. I opened the bedroom door and saw Eric's naked ass waving about frantically in the air. I shut the door and grabbed an afghan and sat outside the apartment door. About 20 minutes later, I decided to just take a fucking bath because I felt annoyed and soiled. I went back into the apartment and into the bathroom, and ran a bath. I got in, and sat there, numb. How could she do this to me? She knew, without a doubt in the world, that I adored this guy. The bathroom door opened and he walked in, completely naked. He didn't say anything, just got into the bathtub behind me. I got out.

Later that day, Lee told me, "You know, he really wasn't that great."

Duh.

Lee Stories

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