Well, obviously I am doing something wrong. Like not thinking. Hasn't anyone else ever made a booty call to an ex? Am I the only one? Am I that fscked up about it? Therapy last night, and when I mentioned it, her eyes opened wide. No judgments (good old therapists) just - surprise. And I told a friend or two about it - one was quite non-judgmental, no big deal. Another was - apparently - very surprised and her e-mail seemed angry. So my friend wanted to know why I made the booty call. What was I thinking. How hypocritical. And what a mental mind fuck. For both of us.
...sigh... She's probably right. I want it all, and I want it my way. I don't know what to think, or how to think. I feel in a fog today, tired, not willing to think or figure out what I'm feeling. Poor little old me.