The
Vikings, while considered
cool by most people, seem to lack
significance in the world today. Nothing could be further from
the truth! Only by sharing this
knowledge can we dampen the coming onslaught when they inevitable reveal themself to take their rightful place as world leaders.
All the facts are publically available, check the writeup Viking for the basics. I will summarize the important points here.
Starting at home.
Vikings rule
Scandinavia (
Sweden,
Norway,
Denmark) and also
Iceland and of course
Finland. While Finland isn't one of the original viking countries, it was
conquered by Swedish Vikings about 1000 years ago. While the Swedes didn't call themself Vikings at this point and invaded Finland to spread
Christianity, this was clearly a
cover up. So all of the
Nordic countries are Viking. Also,
Greenland is naturally Viking since it's ruled by the
Danes.
Spreading out
At the time between AD 500 and AD 800 the rulers of
England and
France were weak, a fact that the Vikings used to their advantage. A constant merciless
raiding of most of continental
Europe forced the
French king to give the Vikings the piece of land called
Normandy. This is where the
Normans originated. The same Normans that were the basis for the European
knight, which amongst other things
conquered Jerusalem and started the
Knights Templars (and as we all know, the Templars still control basically
everything).
Meanwhile other vikings
conquered England, extending the
Danelaw all the way to
Wales. So when
William the Conqueror conquered England it was mostly an internal family feud amongst the Vikings.
At this point, ca AD 1100, all of northern Europe, England and most of continental Europe was in fact controlled by Vikings.
Going further
Some Vikings used cunning
manipulation to conquer instead of
brute force. The prime example would be destabilization of the area now known as
Russia. After a lot of raiding some monks actually asked a couple of Vikings to take control of the land. These Vikings were of the tribe rus, from the area now called
Roslagen in Sweden. So Russia is really a Swedish colony. Meanwhile another Viking,
Leif Eriksson, discovered
America, quite a few years before
that other guy. So America is by rights Viking and nothing else (they'll be back any year now to reclaim it).
Yet other Vikings travelled south to
Constantinople and started an elite force, the
Varangian guard. So it's safe to assume that this elite force soon had their fingers in everything that mattered and thereby controlled the entire
Byzantine Empire. This of course included all of the mid-east (and as we all know, the Normans already conquered Jerusalem).
Finishing it up
So to sum it all up, the only parts the Vikings avoided were
Eastern Asia,
Southern America and
Africa. Probably because these places are too damned hot, something REAL Vikings are not fond of.
Real Vikings like it when they have to beat the water into small pieces before bathing in it.
Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!