E2 is becoming unbearably boring.

Why I Like Trance

1. Magnesia, featuring Sanne

Fucking hell. That was it. That was life.

I like Jesus but he loves me, so it's awkward.

Russian Street Climbing

Stunning athleticism. A tribute to all ADHD kids everywhere.

Watch the YouTube video here.

From www.OverheardInNewYork.com

I am so over that princess treatment routine

Chatty, obnoxious girl #1: My last relationship was a disaster. He just didn't treat me well. He was very disrespectful. How is your man doing?
Chatty, obnoxious girl #2: I don't know. He says he loves me, takes me out all the time, is always calling and paying for everything. He even writes me long romantic notes and spends time with me whenever he can. It's just kind of lame, you know? I just told him I'd love him to shut him up.

And That's Why He's Homeless

Bum: Give me a dollar!
Guy: I'll give you two dollars!
Bum: Give me a dollar!
Guy: I'll give you two dollars!
Bum: You'll give me two dollars?
Guy: On Friday.
Bum: No. Give me a dollar.
Guy: Hey, I'll give you five dollars on Friday if you give me a dollar right now.
Bum: You want me to give you money?
Guy: A dollar. Right now. For five on Friday.
Bum walks away.

This Time We'll Watch Softball and Drink Beer

Girl #1: Oh my gosh, this is so cool.
Girl #2: I know. Smiles.
Girl #1: Thanks for bringing me here, I love you. I am so glad I became a lesbian, if I wasn't I wouldn't have met you!
Girl #2: Aww, thanks. Do you want to go to my apartment now?
Girl #1: Yes! Let's go. Are we going to have fun like we did last night?
Girl #2: Even more, baby.

Girls Will Analyze Two-Word Conversations Like Jesuit Theologians

Girl #1: Oh my god, did I tell you? Alex called me yesterday! And it wasn't 6 am for once, it was 3 pm!
Girl #2: That's great!
Girl #1: I know. He was like low voice "heeeeeeey" and I was like high voice "heeeeey!" and it was amazing. Well, not really. But it was so great.

Everybody Was Surprised When Rachel Turned out To Be the Messiah

Girl #1: What kind of proof did you offer when you said that?
Girl #2: I don't NEED proof, I say it, it comes out of my mouth, that makes it REAL!

Coffee for People Who've Given Up Achievement

Woman: Oh? You got an iced coffee? Where do they sell those around here?
Man: Actually, this is Hennessey.

Lady: If you want girls to like you, you need to learn how to be nice to them.
Boy: Okay.
Lady: I'm your teacher. You need to listen to me. You've got to open doors for them.
Boy: Uh-huh...
Lady: And you need to stop talking about their breasts!
Boy: All right! I get it!

Portrait of a Man Wondering If She's Worth It

Drunk chick: Oh my god, you look like the last tsunami!
Guy with really short hair: What?
Drunk chick: I said you look like that last tsunami guy in the Tom Cruise movie!
Guy with really short hair: You mean The Last Samurai?
Drunk chick: Oh, yeah. Him.

Another Man Wonders If She's Worth It

Young guy: Hey, what do you think about interracial marriage?
Young girl: What, you mean like gay people?
Young guy: (stares at her blankly.) ... what?

Currently Reading

1. Leonard Mlodinow, The Drunkard's Walk: How Randomness Rules Our Lives
2. Franklin Foer, How Soccer Explains the World
3. Robert Hughes, Things I Didn't Know... DONE! 2008/4/1
4. Christopher Hitchins, The Portable Atheist
5. Chris Hedges, Why I Don't Believe in Atheists
6. Robert Greene, The 33 Strategies of War
7. Sarah Boxer, Ed., Ultimate Blogs
8. Kirk Varnedoe, Pictures of Nothing LOANED OUT
9. Yukio Mishima, Sun and Steel... DONE! 2008/3/26
10. Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita.
11. Annie Dillard, The Writing Life
12. Michael Dirda, Classics for Pleasure
13. Lucy Daniel, Ed., Defining Moments in Books
14. Jeremy Janes, The Power of Experience
15. Harlan Hendrix, Getting the Love You Want
16. Andrew Davidson,The Gargoyle ... DONE! 2008/8/31

One Degree of Separation

* JohnnyGoodyear * NotFabio * Jurph * valrus * momomom * grundoon * unperson * gorgonzola * borgo * borgette * karmaflux * frankie * altusmens * yurei * paradoxmo * randombit * birdlace * Kensey * dann * pint * siobhan * indigoe * AudieMcCall * Maylith * doyle * templeton * darl * RangyJoeyHondo * slidewell * dimview * randombit * cbustapeck * scribe * Major General Panic * Jazreel * Dermot Reilly * kohlcass * JellyfishGreen * ReiToei * Haruspex * CloudStrife * TheDeadGuy * karma debt * ccunning * mitzi * Wiccanpiper * LaggedyAnne * Sessor * Andromache01 * panamaus * enth * BrooksMarlin * QXZ * Orange Julius * Braunbeck * Lucy-S * apatrix * gwenllian *void_ptr * walter * Two Sheds * eien meru

America, take heed

"... decent respect for others and the toleration of dissent is better than pride and a sense of national mission; that liberty may be incompatible with, and better than, too much efficiency; that pluralism and untidiness are, to those who value freedome, better than the rigorous imposition of all embracing systems, no matter how rational or disinterested." -- Isaiah Berlin

Catbox Snippets

TenMinJoe: Give a man a fish, and you set him on fire and he dies.

Jodiebird: I think I've got a job at Sizzlers (I went for an interview today), and If I do good I might be upgraded to Salad Bar Captain!

Laura Elizabeth: I need to get out more.
Ancientsnow: Actually I think "getting out" is what causes you to be blissfully unaware of such memes.
Senso: Haha you are so not a lonely geek!
Excalibur: HA HA LAURA ELIZABETH HAS FRIENDS WHAT A LOSER
Ancientsnow: HA HA LAURA ELIZABETH HAS NO SOCIAL ANXIETY SHE IS SUCH A WEIRDO

Halspal: I've got an update on the condition of Simulacron3 for anybody who is interested.
Halspal: He's old. Really old. Older than your dad. He's likely near death.
Halspal: I'll try to do periodic updates.
maxClimb: Halspal: Waht about Sim3?!?
dannye: Should I call Medicare Emergency Services, hal?
dannye: Does anyone have his fucking cell number, for christ's sake? Can't you people see that this is a situation??
Halspal: I don't see any reason to panic.
IWhoSawTheFace: Something happened to Sim?
dannye: He could barely climb over that second hooker to get out of bed, IWho! Is this not a community? What is WRONG with you people?

whiskeydaemon/IronGoth/GentlemanJim: I find female interaction to be inherently hostile.

sam512: Just have a conventional node challenge. Daylogs at dawn.

The Custodian: Dude. One of the most incredible summer concerts I've ever been at was an Indigo Girls concert. Hot lesbians in very little clothing EVERYWHERE YOU LOOKED. There were maybe a hundred guys in the entire venue, and we'd all walk past each other exchanging 'zOMG CAN U BELIEVE DIS SHIT BRO' looks on our faces.
The Custodian: Also, I ran into my hairstylist there and she was totally stoned.

Noung: Stalin had to reverse the feminist gains of the early years because the broads were getting too uppity.
Noung: They started having sex and pissing in public. That's no way to run a five year plan.

noost: slowly, I'm beginning to see a pattern in e2 voting. It really seems like good nodes with content get voted up.

beanie127: What matters creative endless toil
when at a snatch IWhoSawTheFace ends the coil?

sam512: Let he who is without sin kick the first ass

Elisavan: i have just decided that Everything2 is one of the best sources for finishing History Reveiw sheets for exams ^_^
Elisavan: yay for presummarized and easy to read factual things

dannye: Obviously, gamers and hackers should avoid having families.

Noung: America has been exporting global instability for decades now. You've got to admit they make pretty good global instability.
Noung: It's almost as good as their movies.

BookReader: The female orgasm is a liberal myth.
BookReader: Lies told to us by a profeminist liberal media.
jjen: We wouldn't expect any of you to understand how the female orgasm works since you're obviously incapable of inciting it.
kthejoker: What, you think they're gonna hold up the start of MNF just for your sexual gratification?

Andromache01: It's not a sin if you don't get caught.

The Custodian: Whenever I see 'mu' I think of this Hershey's chocolate syrup ad that features a cow mooing, then suddenly losing weight and getting all stylish and emitting a bitchy runway-model 'mu.'

Noung: I have this dislike of science fiction that some might say borders on the irrational.
Noung: When anything can happen, nothing matters.

giantcactus: Honey-may I call you that? In the public "Hey Honey don't touch that mannikin" sense.

Halspal: I've nothing to rail against at E2. I approve of everything all of a sudden.
Halspal: bones and heyoka told me this would happen. One day the database would be bent entirely to my will and I'd be out of a job.

kthejoker: Twenty years later, hopped up on crank and jacked into cyberprison, Jodiebird looks back on that day she found E2 as a major formative experience. And weeps silently.

Noung: Sometimes writing is the opposite of living.

borgo: IWho, That's why American grounded their fleet yesterday. Forget what they tell you about safety inspections, flight attendants were all undergoing mandatory finger wagging training

dannye: Swap, I understand that math has intellectual emotion. But it doesn't have sloppy unreasonable unprotected sex emotion, like music.
Swap: dannye, dude, yes it does. It's just that it's only accessible to relatively much less people.
dannye: It's perfectly perfect and the emotions all have their clothes on and everyone is nodding and fanning in enjoyment.

mad girls love song: it's better to be groomed and in a relationship then slovenly and single.

passport: Wow, my encyclopedic knowledge of Pauly Shore just paid off, as it just allowed me to participate in a real life conversation about him with some people at Burger King.

kthejoker: Well, everyone has an accent, but we define accents, like personality disorders, only in their severest forms.

clampe: Ohio, as with most things, has it all wrong. Don't get me started on california. Jersey does OK, but not enough swearing and gunplay.

ancientsnow: iwho man i totally feel you dude. last time i was in front of this girl's place and i was all climbing into her window and to cut some of her hair for my altar, and she gets all "get out of here! you're breaking into my house!" i mean crazy bitch. chicks, man

la petite mort: Well I am not british and use it as a pfrase, I like to swan about in a flowing gown and a drink in my hand. Toady it is in a simple dress with a list of books.

Bitriot: *cracks neck* Let's do this, Face.

Andromache01 likes the knitting shirt, but that's sort of a given.
craze It's a given because you like shirts?
Andromache01 No, the possibility of stabbing people with 14 inch long metal needles is more my thing
kthejoker She's gonna make someone a lovely bride.

craze: Wiki doesn't have a problem. It is the problem.

mad girls love song: chanel no. 5 is not to be wasted on the masses.

MysteriousUserWhosNameCannotBeMentionedHere: I am a big fan of the furtive churchyard grope. Just sayin'.

mkb: Beer is dual-use technology.

amnesiac: ok, now say it. Say that I mentored you.

jessicapierce: Holy god, kid, we all agree with you on politics and pop culture and the internet and everything. We're all teenagers and we welcome you with open goddamn arms. FREE BEER AND PUSSY
Halspal: Oh my.
golFUR: pledges undying devotion to jp, for today.

It's times like this I'm glad I was raised by a chicken wire rhesus monkey surrogate. -- rootbeer277

Are they gonna find out about that incident with you, the janitor, and those buttered ferrets, izubachi? that's scary. -- artman2003

Being in the Army is like being in the boyscouts with a lot more booze and promiscuous sex.-- Sgt. 54b

being an american is like being a european with a large car and acid reflux disease -- thefez

The fact that, even in the harsh tundra, there exists sustenance for those animals able and willing to find it, disproves liberalism and shames all those lazy students dependent on handouts to be uplifited from the squalor of their ancestors. -- haze

Igloowhite gets on the radionet, This is igloo six actual calling overwatch requesting CAS mission. I need napalm and cluster along I-440
jethro bodine: I copy, gold leader. kilo foxtrot four golf juliet romeo clear and monitoring.
thefez: all this army talk gets me HOT.

iwstf - don't fret, the times of flesh are drawing to an end! -- thefez

all of humanity has strayed from the perfections we see in the ancients. we must destroy all that has taken man from the Garden - except warm clothes and mp3 players
coffee and smokes should stay too. and DSL
scratch DSL, add cabana bars and VTOL aircraft. -- thefez

Walter: We wear the skull of partying and the crossbones of brotherhood. Funky pillagers, we convert fear into fun.
thefez: ar! peace and booty! but booty comes first!

i'm actually the grumpy god here. but i just need to be burped. BUT NOT BY ANY OF YOU, so don't get no ideas. -- yossarian

When one burns one's bridges, what a very lovely fire it makes! -- rromagar

NOT FUNNY IS THE NEW FUNNY. DONKEYS ARE THE NEW MONKEYS. I AM A ROBOT, DO WHAT I SAY. -- Cow of Doom

Haschel47 once threw a shanty.
marshall_banana owns a cereal factory.
Haschel47 makes malts in Marshall's cereal factory.
marshall_banana: are they chocolate malts or strawberry malts? It's my factory, I feel I have a right to know.
Haschel47: The malts are cereal flavored. After all, it is a cereal factory.
marshall_banana: cereal-flavored malts, eh? Are they tasty?
Haschel47: The cereal flavored malts are very tasty indeed. Almost as tasty as a good sammich.
marshall_banana: ham sammiches?
Haschel47: No, turkey-and-Swiss sammiches .
marshall_banana: I don't like Swiss sammiches. I prefer fetus sammiches.
Haschel47: What about a nice Austrian sammich? We could eat in the shanty that I threw.
marshall_banana: Are they Austrian fetus sammiches?
Haschel47: No. Well, any fetuses are actually imported from Belgium.
marshall_banana: Belgian fetuses are acceptable.
Haschel47: Excellent. So we shall eat sammiches and drink malts in the shanty next to the cereal factory .
marshall_banana: Indeed. Let us depart.

No, geeks are out. We hate them because the Internet thing didn't work out -- DejaMorgana

I have proven your fear with MATH! -- Conventional Oven

Chiisuta: Someone brought their kid to work and dumped em on a PC in the editorial dept and I want to punch this kid in the face so badly. Is that wrong?
Roninspoon: Not at all. It's time the little bastard learned that the real world is full of scary mean women and that he better just go ahead and be gay cause everything with tits will kick his ass.
Roninspoon: Besides, I don't like the look of him.
Chiisuta: Well, I wouldn't punch him if he wasn't annoyingly chattering to himself while kicking the desk while we try to write. Or if he was gay. OH SHIT, YOU'RE RIGHT!
briglass: Hey leave me be! My mom dropped me off and I'm getting some quality e2 time, K?
Roninspoon: Way to go Chii, all this time it was environmental and not genetic and you're the asskicking switchblade sister that's been turning healthy boys into pansies for 40 years.
briglass: I was told I could get some free koolaid?
tetrisboy: nail his foot to the floor
Roninspoon: But since yer a chick and all, just whisper real quite into his ear, "I want you so bad." THen lick him a little and go home early. He'll pee himself and run away.
novasoy: is crying already
Chris-O: dude, chii licking people is a BAD IDEA. waukegan still hasn't recovered from that "incident" in '83.
Roninspoon: Unless you've already gayed him up with yer intimidating woman juggers and glassy eyed scowl.

I'm pretty sure that's what slumber parties are all about for high school girls. Robotics and Trek. My sources could be ill-informed. -- Walter

thefez has been posting his anti-nodes again. One day it will destroy the universe in a flash of einstein. -- ascorbic

If I could noad like that, I'd be level a bazillion -- chiisuta

the truth of the matter is, e2 can never hurt you. it can also never hug you. ah, we live in dark times indeed. -- yossarian

I'm out of here! FUCK YOU ALL! THERE IS SUCH A THING AS HAVING A LITTLE BIT TO MUCH FUN WITH PISSING OTHERS OFF! AND YOU PPL WENT OVER THE EDGE!!!!!!! here's my final words b4 i leave u all, U ARE MOTHER FUCKIN COCK SUKIN PUSSY LIKIN SONS OF BITCHES! -- viva la BAM

We really need a "You must be this literate to ride" sign -- fruan

no iwstf: i am not japanese, but you will not once again get me riled up and blogged.
and iwstf: if you are willing not to criticize me i will teach you a thing or two about women. Because I know exactly what we all want, so if you can refrain from doing what you did yesterday i will help, if you want the help. -- viva la BAM

Getting to know you noders fucking sucked, but you needing my wisdoms bad renders me incapable of doing anything other than laugh every single time I read it. If there is something funnier in the universe, I fear it. -- fruan

you are all I could have hoped for in a son. -- allseeingeye

girls always want to talk about how they "feel" about things, like how they "feel" about taking out the garbage -- haze

The Hu-mon Female sheds her carapace nighty, and hovers roughly 4 to 9 inches off the ceiling while making a high pitched keening squeal. Interupting this process will result in the release of caustic liquids. -- allseeingeye

it's not interesting unless I sprain something -- FeltTips

OH, you've moved the old ones over.
That's "Oh" not "OH", I'm not that surprised. -- The One Who Can't Be Ruffled, JudyT

Ok, after IWho, Bill Nye is the sexiest man on Earth. -- Laura Elizabeth

Capitalism isn't even an ism. It's just nature, baby. -- Simulacron3

Well, it gives me the willies, those arseholes have ruined London with their terrorism. -- AnnaPanna

rootbeer277: A teacher once told my class that you can't contemplate the mystery of the trinity while having an orgasm. Thanks a shitload, jerk, now I can't think about anything else.
It was an ethics class with a rather broad and vaguely defined syllabus.
kthejoker: I love you guys. Seriously.

The whole point of getting past puberty is to understand how unimportant interpersonal relationships are except as leverage for selfish purposes. -- Simulacron3

The whole system has left me impotent and disconsolent. I don't write anymore. I just hang out here to insult people and attack their cherished values. -- Simulacron3

Are you people thick? I don't care if The New E2 involves ritualistic self-flaggelation and random unrinalysis, Jennifer Aniston is here fer chrissake. -- Halspal

Erm. I appreciate the offer but I'm a tad tired and likely busy also. -- JohnnyGoodyear

Andromache01: Set them on fire and hide the remains in the wine cellar?
etouffee: No, no Andro..thats when you loathe someone..when you love them you tether them to your bed and feed them to your hyenas

$ yclept: dagnabit, now I want lasagne
Excalibre: you always want food. me, i'd commit multiple homicide for a slice of chocolate cheesecake right now.
Andromache01: Make it vanilla and lime cheesecake and I'll take out the pope.

Once again I am left with waiting to outlive someone as my only means of winning. -- amnesiac

IWhoSawTheFace: Are we playing How Gay Can U Go?
Evil Catullus: Don't be silly. I'd always win. No, it's how gay and EVIL can you go.

Most problems can be solved by judicious gunnery -- allseeingeye

m/sg IWhoSawTheFace No, it wasn't whores, but it was still pretty lascivious. I don't know what to do with all the leftover lingerie. -- bewilderbeast

Excalibre i learned all about straight people from a documentary i once saw on their sexual practices.
Excalibre actually, i think it was called "sorority sluts 6". it featured a fine young actress named chasey lain.
Laura Elizabeth Ex, try "Sorority Sluts 9" - much more detailed. Far better for research.
Glowing Fish I consider Cheerleader Nurses 4 to be a great look at the professional choices available to the young women of today.
IWhoSawTheFace Is there a Naughty Meter Maids 14? I've only got 1-13.
golFUR "We had initially only planned for a trilogy, but when Cheerleader Nurses 3 outsold 1 & 2 combined we knew we could go to the well at least one more time."
sam512 Naughty Meter Maids 14 answers many of the questions opened in NMM10, 11, 12 and 13.
ascorbic I hear they're planning a prequel that shows some of the backstory before their parking enforcement days.
Bitriot When I saw Naughty Meter Maids 14 I was really surprised at how easily I got into the plot. That's not easy to do with a 13th sequel.
golFUR That'd be a Meter Lad?
golFUR swings his nightstick
sam512 they're saying NMM15 may be the last one.
Laura Elizabeth You have Meter Lads? Shit, I gotta move outta this assbackward burg!
IWhoSawTheFace Have you seen the original Meter Maid in the Nat'l Enquirer? Sad, really.
JudyT Of course SToppard's dialogue helped NMM 14 a lot.
sam512 There's always the Extended Universe novels, of course.
Bitriot That's good. A lot of folks would try to milk the luster out of the series.
IWhoSawTheFace You can really tell the change in metering technology throughout the series. It's hard to go back and watch NMM1 and 2.
Glowing Fish Is there a movie about them yet? Or better yet: Trannie Meter Lads, The Return?
sam512 I think they need to rest the franchise for a decade or so anyway. Then Naughty Meter Maids: Phase II!
Bitriot IWho: It's almost unpleasant that these things contain dated elements ... it's a painful vulnerability.
Laura Elizabeth If there is, GF, I'm so buying it!
ascorbic The spin-off "Angry Clampers" was ill-advised to say the least.
Excalibre nothing tops the tender, beautiful journey from girl to woman to naughty slut that we saw in nnm 8, though. it truly touched my heart.
IWhoSawTheFace The good news is that the AFI decided NMM has become part of the film canon now. It's respectable to watch the early stuff.
Glowing Fish I hear that the NMMXIV will have one of those new computerized meters that goes haywire and sucks our heroine into a high tech, CGI world of weird electronic bondage beings. Or something.
sam512 NMM1 and 2 haven't aged well. NMM3 is timeless, of course.
rootbeer277 Of course, critics are divided on the story arc the series follows. It can be hard to pick up Naughty Meter Maids in the middle and follow the plot. None of them really stand on their own very well.
Bitriot Mine as well, ex. And my perianal muscles also. But mostly my heart.
Excalibre she started out so vulnerable. wonderful cinematography, too.
Laura Elizabeth Will it be on AMC IWho?
IWhoSawTheFace The rumor mill keeps saying they've asked J-Lo to be the lead in a new TV series. Hell, I'd buy a television to watch her bootyback
sam512 TV series? It'll never work.
Bitriot GF: The series has exploited everything this humble world has to offer. It must expand its beautiful horizons.
Bitriot In more ways than one.
IWhoSawTheFace OK, how about a 'reality series' version? You know, jerky handycam footage and 14 yr old boys played by 27 year old men?
Excalibre i don't see how it could be divided episodically. the reverse gangbang scene alone in nnm12 lasted longer than a 45-minute tv show.
IWhoSawTheFace Maybe we'd have to go 2 hour season premier for that one? You think?
Glowing Fish Excalibre: that could be a one hour long, "very special" episode.
sam512 I heard that they were bringing back all the original drivers for NMM15, which puzzled me, because at least two of the actors have died in the meantime.
IWhoSawTheFace Matthew Perry's a holdout. I think he's in detox again.
Excalibre also, though, the movies have always depended on their taut pacing. i don't know if the drama would last if it was interspersed with commercial breaks.
Simulacron3 The true life story of lovely Rita is such a sad one--a fine woman ravaged by a peri-modern society driven by the pernicious combination of juvenile minds and lack of sex.
IWhoSawTheFace looks at the videotapes of NMM1-13 in their original boxes and wonders if he should put them in a safe deposit box.
IWhoSawTheFace These things might be eBay gold some day.
sam512 And the car chases! Goodness, the car chases. Why aren't there more car chases in porn?
Bitriot wonders if his arm's-length polaroid homemade porn has a place on EBay.
Laura Elizabeth Have you ever tried to have sex doing 110 on a darkly-lit back road, Sam? It's nearly fuckin' impossible! That's why they've stopped using car chases.

FeltTips: I'm only allowed four coquette-isms a day

Simulacron3: If I had a feminine side, I'd touch it every day.

Allseeingeye: I wanted a stalker with big tits and a poor moral compass, but I suppose you'll do.

thefez sits in the morning pool of coffee
borgo gives a shout out to thefez!
thefez bellows back
IWhoSawTheFace: Fez, dare we speak of you? Is the statute of limitations over yet?
thefez: only if you're on the list, face. you made the squad
IWhoSawTheFace temples his fingers. Eeeeeexcellent.
IWhoSawTheFace: Member, thefez squad. Eeeeexcellent. This will look real good on the resume.
thefez: i wouldn't tell prospective employers about that one - especially if there's a possibility of a drug test...ahem

drownzsurf: You couldn't really date hippie chicks....they were all so free, you know.

Laura Elizabeth: E2 is special. Like puppies doused in tuna fish and set loose amoungst kittens. Special.
Ancientsnow: Kink for hot, disturbed, anvil-fixated, pokey mammas? Try E2.

IWhoSawTheFace: Remind me the secret thing I did that scared you away two years ago.
Wolf06: Now I remember...
Wolf06: Face was the big ass mother fucking jerk.
Wolf06: That's why I left
Wolf06: I didn't want to put up with him
IWhoSawTheFace: Yes yes, but we need details, man. Details!
Wolf06: You are the detail.
Narya: Great God, please let there be an epic knife fight.
IWhoSawTheFace: Well, I hve to be nice now. Brawl said he'd cut off my private parts if I wasn't nice to new noders.
IWhoSawTheFace: He didn't really use those words. He said it in a nice, self-apologetic Canadian sort of way. But there was definitely the testicles in jars image.

Ancientsnow: Fuck me shoes? Those exist?
Dimview: Of course they do. Or I have been wasting my money, Ancient.
Laura Elizabeth: How can you be self-conscious wearing fuck-me boots? That's the whole point.

XWiz: I once saw an advert for a pheromone wipe thing. Back before I knew I was gay. I considered it, but worried that women might follow me home like excited ants.

ancientsnow: Ooh math! I like math. But like, not the hard one.

Swap: Yoo-Hoo: Have you tried 4chan yet? ∀ x ∃ y such that y = porn(x).
kthejoker: Amazon Review: "Honestly, the only reason I rented this movie was to see Vanna White, and maybe in the buff. I wasn't disappointed."
allseeingeye: E2 exists to point people towards their personal kink Meccas. It is what we do.


The Custodian: Some of us don't need to be bothered. Some of us would kill you, grind your bones to meal, bake bread, grind that into the dirt and piss on it just for laughs. This is the catbox.

Ancientsnow: My favorite part of being raised Catholic is the whole ignore your functioning brain bit.

Halspal: I hate it when people miss people at E2, but I miss jessicapierce since she started keeping a lower profile.
Halspal: Her name on the fellow noders list had a soothing effect on me.
Halspal: And when I find out which monkeys are irritating her away, I'm going to send them to fucking cornfield forever.

Ancientsnow: omg veteran does that mean old eww gross
Ancientsnow: you guys ar'e wierd is this a dirty place what is this site

Ancientsnow: My eyes are green-ISH. They seriously vary according to weather status. It's like a mood bracelet, but for weather, and in my face.
Ancientsnow: It's actually nothing like a mood bracelet.

passport Things were awesome and sort of hot the first few days of our fling, but then she did the "I am going to freak out now" thing, and we haven't seen each other solo since then. But tonight should be good.
eien_meru Ack, not the "I am going to freak out now" thing. I hate that.

borgo For most problems the Marine is issued a solution. If ill, go to sickbay. If wounded, call a Corpsman. If dead, report to graves registration. If losing his mind, however, no standard solution exists.
sirspens Marines don't lose their mind. Marine's are too physically and mentally evolved to endure such disgrace.
borgo ooh fuckin rah to that

kthejoker The whole point of namedropping obscure bands is to be inscrutable both in taste and explanation.

Harry Potter's ruining my sex life

IWhoSawTheFace This new Harry Potter book is interfering with my social life. I'm seeing this woman, but she's deep into the new book, and I'm like, hey, what about me? And she's like, yeah, whatever, let me finish this book first.
IWhoSawTheFace I'm getting really pissed off. What's this author's name? Rowling? Rowland?
borgo IWSTF - apparently she's become an avid reader since meeting you
IWhoSawTheFace Yeah, borgo, that's my fear too.
borgo next thing ya know she'll be all deep into Proust
IWhoSawTheFace Plus she's got this big ass book by an Indian author. It's got, like, a thousand pages.
karma debt IWho, she has an ass-book? Keep that woman. Seriously.
IWhoSawTheFace And tiny print. She's never going to get through that one.
IWhoSawTheFace I may just cut my losses and go with some blind chick next time.
borgo for your sake I hope it's the kama sutra
Dimview If she's studying the Kama Sutra he might not survive.
IWhoSawTheFace No, it's got words in it. Lots of words. Only words. Words like sibilant. Who the fuck uses sibilant in a sentence? Crazy bitch is all into that shit.
amnesiac I bet it's Arundhati Roy, you won't see her again this side of the next Olympics.
IWhoSawTheFace Oh great. I think it is arund... roy. Or singh, or something like that. What is it with your wordy brown people, amn? Can't they write smaller books?

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Why you haven't seen Evil Catullus around much recently

I didn't believe in writers' block.
But it believed in me.

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Plagiarism?

Julian Barnes, the British essayist, wrote about the French writer Simenon and his legendary sexual appetite. The first incident is from the 1920s, when Simenon was living in a hotel, engaged to be married:

" 'With Simenon, early one morning, lying awake in the Hotel Berthe, the need was so great that when he heard a chambermaid outside in the hallway cleaning the guests' shoes, he got up, opened the door, lifted the girl's skirt and possessed her on the spot--while she was brushing away. She did not even stop what she was doing but merely said, "Oh Monsieur!" ' " -- Julian Barnes, "Things to Declare," (2002)

Barnes fast-forwards through two marriages and thousands of other women, when Simenon recounted meeting his final housemand, Teresa:

" 'A month after she started work at Echandens, I unexpectedly walked into a room and found her bending over a table that she was polishing. The sight was too much for me. I advanced upon her, feverishly pulled down her knickers and penetrated her... Teresa did not play the coquette. She had an orgasm as violent as mine, still bent over the table, with a duster or chamois leather in her hand... We did not even look at each other. I just walked out of the room and locked myself in my office.' " -- Julian Barnes, "Things to Declare," (2002)

Compare these quotes with a passage found in Gabriel Garcia Marquez' "Memories of my Melancholy Whores" (2005). Here, the protagonist, a 90 year old man, encounters his similarly bent-over housekeeper when they were both very young:

I remember I was reading La lozana andaluza -- The Haughty Andalusian Girl -- in the hammock on the hallway, when I happened to see her bending over in the laundry room wearing a skirt so short it bared her succulent curves. Overcome by irresistible excitement, I pulled her skirt up in back, pulled her underwear down to her knees, and charged her from behind. Oh, Senor, she said, with a mournful lament... A profound tremor shook her body but she stood firm. -- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, "Memories of My Melancholy Whores," (2005)

Is this plagiarism? Perhaps not. If Marquez reads widely, as he surely does, he is probobably acquainted to Simemon and his priapic tales. But I found the similarities in the passages remarkable.

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Reality is a dangerous concept

Reality is a dangerous concept.
Each one of us interprets it in a slightly different way
Ever sense impression is filtered by the waves of formula
Sometimes just a little,
Sometimes completely,
To fit our individual models of how the world behaves. -- Banco de Gaia, "How much reality can you take?"